OUR FIRST SCAN

We've got a heartbeat...YAY!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know what else to say besides, all glory to God!!!

I don't know who wanted to faint first, me or hubby......I tell you that was the longest wait of my life! At first, in other words the first few seconds of the scan I could only see the big black hole, and I thought, Oh no, please God not again!!!

And then within a wink of an eye...taaaaraaaa....a little bean with a flickering heartbeat....WOW the tears just streamed down my face!!!

I'm so happy and can only give God the glory and praise for this little miracle!!

So here's the first picture of our little star!!

Fear...

I have never been this scared in my life....

I know the answers, I know that whatever will be will be, I know that this is not in my hands, but in the hands of God. I know that whatever Friday will bring I will have to handle. I know that whatever the outcome I will get through it....

BUT, I just feel so completely out of control, and I DON'T want to deal with it if it's negative, I don't want to go through that whole ordeal, I want this baby!!!

Lord, you know my fears, you know everything about me, and I want to believe that this time You chose to bless me, this time I will have what I've asked from You so, so many times, for so many years. I want to believe that I had nothing to do with this pregnancy, but that this is the work of Your hand. I want to believe that You blew life into this little bean, and everything is right on track and that I will see a small glimpse of Your wonder with Friday's scan. Please let this be my turn, please let me for the first time in almost 7years see a heartbeat, and in a few months time, hold my baby in my arms!

Still going....

I didn't really want to post anything while I'm "waiting" for the scan.....just so scared....just now I post of all the things like preggie symptoms or saying how great it's going......and then who knows what news we will get with the scan.....

BUT, as someone said to me....for today ur pregnant, for today be happy and enjoy the miracle God gave u.......so if only for today I would like to share.......

First......I did another beta, for my own sanity - according to my last beta, doubling up until Tuesday, the count should have been about 5000.....well Beta was.....

8010!!

With the previous pregnancy I only had a beta of 1800 in week 6. So yes, that's awesome news for me.....and means that things this time is different!

Okay, the symptoms......Not much, just started out with the normal on-off mild cramps, one night it was very intense and freaked me out completely...but apparently normal? Okay, since then the cramps are changing a bit, it's more a "heavy" feeling in my uterus, now and then if I'm very busy or moving around a lot I'll get the AF cramp thingy, but not as much.
Boobies wasn't sore at first, but are getting worse by the day - the whole boob is sore! oh and at night they get worse!
No MS, just not so big on sweet things....which is strange for me........actually over all not a big appetite.....if I don't eat I have a "hol kol" on my stomach, so have to eat, but can't eat too much at a time...so weird...
I don't have the "oh I'm so tired I want to die"...which freaks me out...cause EVERYONE has it? Well, I don't? Have to say I don't really have energy during the day and go to bed earlier and when I sleep.....I sleep, but that's that.
Then last.....the mood.........jip, it's bad, it's really bad - something not so bad gets me worked up soooo easily and something not so sad gets me in tears in a matter of seconds!

Have to add this in today's story....Hubby is a star!! He does EVERYTHING, I'm not allowed to do anything!!! I feel like a queen!!! Dankie babes!

And that's my story........for today I'm pregnant, for today I have to believe that soon I will hold my little prince or princess in my arms, I have to believe that God has answered my prayers ........

Thank you God for what I have today! I'm truly blessed!!!!

Third and final Beta...

Okay, so this is the last blood test I had to do........

645...yay!

Now for a 3ww....oh my word......any ideas as to "HOW TO STAY SANE" would be great!!!!
Oh, and I had physio on my neck today....all I can say..holy moly....I thought I was going to die from the pain!!!!! I think I'll give a skip and just go for a nice neck massage at some beauty place.....the therapist almost killed me!!!! Eina!!

BETA nr 2

So far so good.......Beta nr 2 is:

266

Now I have to wait for 3 terrible weeks!!!!!! First scan the 14th of December.....ai, don't know how I'm going to survive for that loooong......
Please my precious friends, keep me in your prayers!